She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
