Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
