even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
