I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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