I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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