id be glad to
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
