I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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