did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
