i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
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