Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
