imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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