just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
