found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
