Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
