I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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