Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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