Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize