that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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