It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize