And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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