So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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