The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
