The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
no you cant smoke seaweed
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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