Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this will be a night to untag.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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