I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think my moral compass just broke
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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