it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
