I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
