Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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