This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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