I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
