i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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