I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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