It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
