It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No subtext here. People are naked.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
