my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
