Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize