Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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