OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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