The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
