i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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