I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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