Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My life is pants optional.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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