she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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