Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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