jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He better not be in your backpack
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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