I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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