I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
