i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
