miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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