Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize