i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
