But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
