omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
