would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
