There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
