so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
