it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They took my balls.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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