Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
